She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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