I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
