Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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