im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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