I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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