I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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