Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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