Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
