what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We are two peas in an std pod
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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