She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
