Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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