I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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