lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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