i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
