My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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