i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
