I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
