I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
