I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
