i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
