Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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