just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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