You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
