We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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