i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i drank out of a bidet.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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