So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
