So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
