Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My dad is sitting where you rode me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
