I am spending my child support on dildos
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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