Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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