On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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