Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
