How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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