apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
