I showed him my bush... on skype.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
