Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
