...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
