She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
