I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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