Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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