Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
