just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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