Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
