You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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