I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
