she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
COCAINE IS GR8
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize