Define "chronic" masturbator.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
