my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize