he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
