How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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