Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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