I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
