were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize