I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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