people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's just like the Real World with babies
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
