Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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