I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
