I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
