Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
