alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
