Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
