Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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