We're like a lot better than the average bears
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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