i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
wow bdsm is so cute
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
