I'm jealous of your bromance
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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