i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
