it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize