Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
